Rain spatters the window where I sit, watching the great storm clouds gather outside, the staccato rhythm building into a constant muted roar. Time slows and slips away...and I'm three years old again, on another overcast afternoon, long ago.
I am standing on the veranda outside, quivering with happiness as the rain starts to come down, pure undiluted joy overflowing like the water sloshing out of the steel tumbler I hold in my hand. I hear my grandmother calling to take the washing in, the sound of pattering feet as someone hurries to do her bidding, a kitten mewling - a mosaic of noise in the background.
My mother calls to me to come inside, and suddenly I'm running down the long corridor, anklets tinkling, the tumbler falling from my hand and clanging on the floor as it spins in crazy circles. Running as fast as my chubby legs can carry me, heedless of my mother's cries, down the old stone steps and into the downpour; laughing with delight as it drenches me, splashing into the shallow puddles on the ground and laughing again. My youngest aunt comes out after me, and I giggle as I run away from her, shaking my head. The rain is coming down faster now, heavy sheets of water soaking us to the skin, and I wriggle as she catches me and scoops me up into her arms.
She turns to go back, looks down at me, smiling, and the warmth of her seeps through the cotton sari as I cling to her. For a minute, it is as if we are in stasis, that moment locked away forever as I stare up at her and wipe away the rain from my face. Something changes in her eyes - and she holds me tighter.
Then she's spinning me - spinning me in the falling rain as I shriek with fear and excitement, her laughter mingling with mine as the world blurs past, spinning like the crazy tumbler I dropped, around and around and around.....until the image fades, and the sound is only an echo in my memory.
How long has it been since I've been that child again...how long, since I've laughed in abandon and not cared who was listening...regret escapes me in a sigh, and there is nothing I want more than to dance in the rain again. The years go by, and the body and mind age along with the passage..but the heart remembers.
2 comments:
Long since i ve been a 3 yr old..almost 20 yrs..so long that i had forgotten what does the world look like from the eyes unaccustomed to anything and everything short of pure..its been so long that i had forgotten how innocent do the drops of first rain feel..i had forgotten the warmth of that loving feminine embrace, forgotten how my every bit responded with overwhelming love and joy, how my fingers clasped themselves snugly around those bangled arms..the sound of the thumping heart, racing like a prancing horse..pressing my ears against her bosom, my pupils going wide with wonder as i listened intently!! i had forgotten the sheer excitement of being myself, a kid, a 3 year old..
Now, i remember.......
That should have been a post in itself!! :)
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